Let’s Give Some Attention To The “Holes” In Our Sidewalks

The other day, I came across a poem that really made me stop and think. I’d love for you to give it a read:

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters 

(From the book- There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk)

By Portia Nelson 

    I

I walk down the street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost... I am helpless

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

      II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But, it isn't my fault.

It still takes me a long time to get out.

      III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in…it's a habit.

My eyes are open. I know where I am.

It is my fault. I get out immediately.

        IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

        V

I walk down another street.

Take a moment. What is your takeaway from this poem? What’s your version of the “hole in the sidewalk”? 

We all have our patterns—the big, life-shaping ones and the smaller habits that quietly shape our days. One of mine? Overcommitting. I have a tendency to say yes a little too easily, filling my schedule until I feel stretched thin and overwhelmed (I’d say I’m somewhere between III and IV). The ironic part is that I’m often the same person encouraging the people I love to set boundaries and protect their energy. Somewhere along the way, I’m still learning to take my own advice.

Growth doesn’t happen in a straight line. It’s messy, nonlinear, and at times frustrating. We don’t simply “fix” ourselves and move on—we circle through the same lessons, sometimes making progress, sometimes slipping back into old habits. That’s part of being human.

I’ve come to appreciate the idea of “the hole” as a metaphor for these recurring patterns. It gives us a way to look at our struggles with honesty, but without shame. Because the truth is, we’re wired for familiarity. We repeat what we know, even when it doesn’t serve us. Sometimes we fall into the same “hole” so many times that we don’t even notice it’s there—until one day, we do. And even then, it can take a while to see how we’ve been contributing to it.

That realization can feel uncomfortable, but it’s also where real change begins. Sometimes, growth means learning to sit with discomfort.

There’s an important distinction here: taking responsibility is not the same as blaming ourselves. We can acknowledge our role in our own patterns without tearing ourselves down. In fact, letting go of blame—toward ourselves or anyone else—can be incredibly freeing. It creates space for choice, for change, for something new.

Life isn’t always easy. At times, it can feel heavy and uncertain. But with patience, compassion, and support, we can begin to shape a path that feels true to who we are. Even when we resist or stumble, there’s a quiet resilience within us that keeps pushing forward.

So, maybe you’ve fallen into that “hole” before. Maybe more than once. But that doesn’t define you. You still have the ability to reconnect with your voice, to rediscover who you are, and to choose a different way forward.

No matter what’s behind you, a new path is always within reach.