Learning to Calm Intense Emotions: The TIPP Skill from DBT

Written By Abigail Bergacs

When emotions run high, it can feel impossible to think clearly or make healthy choices. Your heart races, your body tenses, and it feels like your feelings are in the driver’s seat. In these moments, trying to “just calm down” rarely works — because your body is already in full-alert mode.

That’s where TIPP, a powerful skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), comes in. TIPP is a quick, body-based strategy that helps bring your emotional intensity down fast so you can regain balance and make choices that align with your values (Linehan, 2015).

What Does “TIPP” Mean?

TIPP stands for:

  • T — Temperature

  • I — Intense Exercise

  • P — Paced Breathing

  • P — Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Each of these steps works by directly calming your body’s stress response. When your body settles, your emotions follow.

How TIPP Works

When you’re overwhelmed, your nervous system goes into overdrive — this is often called the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. In DBT, this is called being in emotion mind. In emotion mind, it’s hard to think logically, problem-solve, or communicate effectively (Linehan, 2015; MindfulTeen, n.d.).

The TIPP skill helps shift you from emotion mind to wise mind — that balanced place where both your logic and emotions can work together.

The Four Parts of TIPP

1. Temperature

Cool your body down quickly to activate what’s known as the “dive reflex.” This reflex slows your heart rate and signals your body to relax.

Try:

  • Splashing cold water on your face for 30 seconds.

  • Holding an ice pack or cool cloth against your cheeks or under your eyes.

  • If safe, briefly submerge your face in cold water.

2. Intense Exercise

Strong emotions come with a surge of energy — adrenaline. Doing short bursts of physical activity helps release that energy instead of letting it drive impulsive behaviors (DBT Self Help, n.d.).

Try:

  • Doing jumping jacks, squats, or running in place for one minute.

  • Dancing to a high-energy song.

  • Taking a brisk walk or climbing stairs.

You don’t need to overdo it — even 60 seconds can help.

3. Paced Breathing

When we’re anxious or upset, our breathing often becomes shallow and fast. Paced breathing helps slow your heart rate and send a calming signal to your brain.

Try:

  • Inhale through your nose for 4 counts.

  • Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6–8 counts.

  • Focus on making your exhale longer than your inhale (TherapistAid, n.d.).

Repeat for one to two minutes. You may notice your body start to soften or your thoughts slow down.

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

When we’re stressed, we unconsciously tighten our muscles. PMR helps release that tension and bring awareness back into your body.

Try:

  • As you breathe in, gently tense one muscle group (like your shoulders or fists).

  • As you breathe out, release that tension.

  • Move through your body — arms, shoulders, legs, and face (DBT Center of Orange County, n.d.).

This helps your body and mind recognize what relaxation feels like again.

When Should You Use TIPP?

Use TIPP any time your emotions feel intense and overwhelming, such as when you:

  • Feel out of control or on the verge of tears.

  • Have urges to act impulsively (like yelling, using substances, or self-harm).

  • Can’t think clearly or calm yourself with other coping skills.

TIPP isn’t about ignoring your emotions — it’s about buying yourself time. Once your body calms, you can then use other DBT skills (like mindfulness, emotion regulation, or communication strategies) more effectively.

Tips for Getting the Most Out of TIPP

  • Practice when calm. Just like learning any new skill, TIPP works best if you’ve tried it before you really need it.

  • Personalize it. Some people prefer the cold technique, others like exercise or breathing. Experiment to find what works best for you.

  • Make it accessible. Keep a “TIPP kit” handy — maybe a cold pack in the freezer, a playlist of upbeat songs, or a saved breathing app.

  • Remember: it’s first aid, not a cure. TIPP helps you stabilize in the moment; the deeper work of understanding and processing your emotions happens in therapy.

Final Thoughts 

Emotions are powerful — and they’re not your enemy. They’re signals from your mind and body trying to tell you something important. The TIPP skill simply helps you regulate the intensity of those emotions so you can hear the message clearly, without being swept away.

You don’t need to be perfect at it. With practice, TIPP can become one of your go-to tools for managing moments of overwhelm and taking back control when emotions feel too big.


References

DBT Center of Orange County. (n.d.). T.I.P.P. Skills. Retrieved from https://www.dbtcenteroc.com/tipp-skills/

DBT Self Help. (n.d.). TIPP: Changing Your Body Chemistry. Retrieved from https://dbtselfhelp.com/tipp-changing-your-body-chemistry/

Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

MindfulTeen. (n.d.). TIPP Skills. Retrieved from https://www.mindfulteen.org/dbt/distress-tolerance/tipp-skills/

TherapistAid. (n.d.). DBT TIPP Worksheet. Retrieved from https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/dbt-tipp


Abigail Bergacs
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